I got a Canon Digital Rebel XTi DSLR camera for Christmas. Here are a couple photos, sized down, of course. I don’t feel it’s necessary to post the original 10-megapixel pictures here.

Why can’t I be like everyone else? I want to be able to go to noisy, crowded bars and have fun. I want to enjoy… you know… people. Why can’t I be like other people who like to laugh and drink and dance and rock out to very very very loud music?

Why do I have to be the loneliest in a crowd?  ☹️

What an absolutely beautiful day today. I wish I could spend it with my love. Perhaps I am, wherever she is. Oh well, there will be other beautiful days. But not like this one.

There will never be another today.

Right away, I knew it was going to be a difficult drive. People were driving like maniacs. What’s wrong with these people? It’s like Boyle’s Law for automobiles: as density increases, so does pressure.

I managed to make it to the shoe store, the bank, and the fuel station without incident. It was after leaving the biodiesel pump when things got interesting. A guy making a right turn after me honked at me for coming to a complete stop before making my right turn. ACTUALLY HONKED AT ME for obeying the traffic laws! What a FUCKER! I immediately flipped him off. This was the first time I’d ever done that. He of course did not stop, overtook me on the left, and crossed in front of me without signaling. I laid on him for a good two seconds with 100 watts of air horn. But I soon forgot about him because I spotted an accident ahead. I hit my amber lights and protected what turned out to be the scene of a rear-end collision between a dump truck hauling a small front-end loader (rear ender) and a black VW Passat wagon (rear endee). Fortunately the VW’s driver, a nice lady named Jane, wasn’t hurt. It took Colorado State Patrol a good 20 minutes to get there, then I took off.

Another funny Mental Floss vid by my friend Randy. Terrifying! Gruesome! Hilarious! And informative!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ZuQaSctVY0?rel=0&showinfo=0&w;=420&h;=315

Ya know, I guess I’d better rescue one of my more creative craigslist m4w personals ads before it gets lost forever into electronic oblivion. Here’s to posterity! May it never come. Or if it must, may it come quickly and painlessly.

Bargain Discount Clearance Sale! Going Fast! Only 1 left in Stock! - 27

Due to the popularity of this sale, we are extending it for a few more days and running this ad again. Hurry now while this sale lasts! There’s only one left in stock and once he’s gone, he’s gone for good.

Here’s a rough translation matrix for those of you out there looking through job listings online and otherwise.

Fast paced and fun work environment:
Crazy busy and chaotic

Competitive pay:
Competitive for us: you get just over minimum wage and definitely not a living wage.

Excellent opportunities for advancement:
Start at the bottom and stay at the bottom until someone above you dies or has a psychotic break. We don’t care about any degrees you may have.

Sales contest awards:
If you don’t sell enough then you’re fired.

Discounts on merchandise:
This is to discourage you from stealing from us since we obviously don’t value our employees enough to give them real benefits.