I continue in eternal exile. The landscape does not change, in fact at times the winds blow even colder than I could have imagined. There is no hint at additional light and, in fact, the spans of what little dimness there is seem to grow shorter. The worst may yet be ahead. I drift aimlessly in and out of consciousness, parched, panged with hunger, waiting for a sign.

I just got a spam with the subject: Win in combat with excess kilos!

Does this mean that I’m supposed to gain weight in order to triumph in battle or that I’m already in combat with the excess weight and I’ve been commanded to succeed? I’m so confused… I just want to do the right thing…

I really needed this today. It had me laughing so hard I was crying. First I watched the Beatles number, which warmed me up, and then I watched the Queen number. By the time Freddie Mercury started coughing/hacking/wheezing/sneezing at the keyboard, I totally lost it. Tears down my cheeks from the laughter.

mental_floss Blog » Famous Bands Singing Nonsense.

Day two of my exile begins.

While still reeling from a great disorientation effected by my sudden exile, I awaken laboriously to record several observations about my environment. It is dark; there is barely enough light to outline a horizon. I appear to be in the middle of a vast expanse of wasteland. The ground is composed of loose sand that slowly begins to subsume a man walking erect. This makes traversing it extremely difficult and laborious. The only way to remain above the surface in one place for any length of time is to sit or to lie in a prone position. This is all the better, as there is a great coldness here and standing alone for too long can result in a tremendous loss of warmth. This coldness permeates all aspects of one’s being and cannot be warmed by any heater; there are also winds that blow incessantly, seemingly from every direction at once, that cannot be shielded by any jacket or coat of known composition.