Dear Mr. Musk,

Up until now you’ve been a curiosity. An interesting little distraction. You’ve made sexy cars for the small percentage of us who can afford them. We like that you chose to make them electric because of what you’ve been able to do with their performance. We like fast, powerful toys that respond instantly to our whims. Environmentally friendly, you say? Pshaw! A very clever marketing strategy indeed. We commend you for your level of deceit. For that you are almost worthy of being called one of us.

But now you promise to bring your electric cars to the *people* in a form that they can afford? You’re giving them a taste of what we have, but for cheaper. Elon, we know your “mission” to save the world through renewable energy and Martian colonization is merely a clever scheme for the unwashed masses to adore you, but you’re taking it too far. We love your techno-baubles, and sending our satellites into space for cheaper is always better for us, but you’re starting to become annoying.

Don’t threaten our established investments. We worked very hard to build them and to make the people believe that they are necessary for their piddly little workaday lives. They must scurry at our whim, and our system is carefully balanced to keep them on the edge at all times precisely so that they cannot rise up against us. You are meddling with that balance.

If you think the recent press coverage and stock price “dip” are anything but random happenstance, we will not influence your perception. But this is your only and final warning. You are approaching “too far.”

Watch yourself.

Signed,

You Don’t Need To Know


P.S. In my normal narrative voice, I would be happy to increase my Model 3 deposit amount if it were to help with production in any way, and I’d bet that many more people feel the same way. Perhaps an optional extra $1000 to get even higher up on the list? :)