Dear Comcast Customer Support,

You are broken. I don’t blame you for what you are, but you need to change. I don’t normally say that because I believe entities have a right to exist as they please – whether their choices lead them towards salvation or destruction. But in your case I will make an exception.

I understand something as large as you has some inefficiencies. You are truly a behemoth. But there are a couple types of behemonths: the first one is large because it has exercised and grown and shown not only tremendous discipline but insight. It has made tough decisions and reshaped itself into its ideal self image. The second type, on the other hand, is a behemoth because it has become lazy and fat, gathering excess weight almost imperceptibly over the years until its standards slowly disintegrate and little trace of its original goodness remains. The latter, unfortunately, is what you have become.

This is your wake-up call. This is your intervention. We care about you because you provide good things to us. But your customer care service is sadly broken and is in desperate need of an overhaul. Your first-line-of-defense call center employees are not cream-of-the-crop, if you get my drift. In many cases they do not even know how to properly operate your phone system. This is just the tip of the iceberg, and I will refrain from a detailed analysis.

They say that the first step is admitting you have a problem. If you can do that, then the rest will happen. It’s not impossible. You can do it. My advice, though you probably don’t want to hear it, is that if you work more on improving _yourself_ and less on improving your public image, the latter will naturally happen, and at a lower cost and quicker pace than a forced campaign. I’m just saying. Take it or leave it.

So there you are. The door is open. All you have to do is take that first step.

I am here to help.

Sincerely,

Your Customer