Ya know, I guess I’d better rescue one of my more creative craigslist m4w personals ads before it gets lost forever into electronic oblivion. Here’s to posterity! May it never come. Or if it must, may it come quickly and painlessly.
Bargain Discount Clearance Sale! Going Fast! Only 1 left in Stock! - 27
Due to the popularity of this sale, we are extending it for a few more days and running this ad again. Hurry now while this sale lasts! There’s only one left in stock and once he’s gone, he’s gone for good.
Unique, one-of-a-kind product. Good for yourself or for a friend. In women’s only. Easy-to-use and complimentary, stylish and attractive. Accessorize this holiday season with class.
Available for test drive (speed-limited to lower gears only), no long-term contracts required but are available upon request and credit check/history. No previous owner(s): used and returned only once (incorrect fit). Stores easily, self-propelled and self-cleaning! Functions independently without the need for constant supervision. Will provide you with endless hours of entertainment and stimulation, also good for impressing company and friends. Needs very little maintenance, requiring only occasional stroking.
Reliable, rarely breaks down, and comes with lifetime warranty for the right buyer. Comes pre-installed with music module (advanced level), dance module (intermediate level, but upgradable), and technical skill expansion plugin set (electronics and hand tool compatibility option). Invaluable for having around the house for tackling home repairs and upgrades. Kid and pet friendly. Will not leave stains or residue. Operation fully checked and inspected by top quality control experts: guaranteed to function properly and integrate well with no aberrant behavior or your money back!
Safe to use while in shower or in the kitchen. Do not use while driving or operating heavy machinery. Is waterproof but not submersible for long periods. May be damaged by sharp objects, is not puncture resistant. Keep away from open flame; smoke may damage interior components. Operates quietly with little noise unless disturbed or out-of-balance. Produces no harmful by-products, however may occasionally emit non-toxic exhaust depending on fuel used.
175-180 Lbs (varies seasonally)
dark brown top, white exterior
All extremities come attached and fully functional, no assembly required. All-natural ingredients: synthetic hormone- and drug-free.
User compatibility profile:
Operates best when user is self-sufficient and is familiar with basic operating procedure, but no prior experience required. (Comes with intuitive interface, but product manual is available online.) Product may not start for some users: has been known to be selective on occasion. Best odds for compatibility include females under ~67” H - smaller users show greater success rate with this particular model.
Standard model, catalog product image attached:
…then I attached my picture.