Dear neighbor in apartment 33,

Please turn up your music! I love those loud, wall-shaking, hip-hop beats, especially at 12 am when I have class the next morning. But as it stands now, I can’t make out the words. It’s just a nondescript thudding sound, unless I’m sitting in my favorite chair next to the wall where I can sometimes make out those wonderful and witty lyrics. So please, turn it up. Wake me up from my boring slumber and don’t think about the welfare of your neighbor. That’s okay. When you hear that thump-thump-thumping noise at 12 am but it doesn’t go with the beat, that’s me at the door. Oh, I’m not angry at all. I’m coming over to politely ask you to turn it up even more, so all of our responsible and studious graduate student neighbors can share in the wonders of your stereo system. Turn it up because the walls are too thick and too well insulated to transmit any kind of sound. And while you’re at it, leave it on even longer. Four hours per day is certainly not enough of your diverse musical tastes.

Sincerely,

The ticking bomb in apartment 34