Jimmy Two-Shoes Durante was brought in for questioning yesterday for allegedly beating a cow to death with a small ceramic statue. This may be the first case in mafia history involving a knick knack patty whack.
A young driver gets pulled over for speeding. The cop steps up to the car and the driver rolls down his window. The cop says, “I’ve been waiting for you all day,” to which the driver replies, “Sorry officer, I got here as fast as I could.”
A blonde goes to the laundromat to wash her favorite sweatshirt. She throws it in the washer but stops and stares at all the buttons. She asks the man standing next to her, “which setting do I use?” The man asks, “what does it say on the shirt?” The blonde replies, “University of Tennessee.”